Bum Biddy Lyrics - Adam Sandler

1 Everyone in this room has been associated with Whitey

2 either through basketball or the mall or various odd

3 jobs he does around town for free or at most a dollar

4 And I'm guessing 99% of you have either laughed in Whitey's

5 face or ruthlessly made fun of his feet or voice or sister

6 or shortness when he wasn't looking

7 But the next time you'd see him he'd still go out of his way to

8 smile and wave at you and ask you about your mother's

9 operation or something like that because he, unlike us,

10 actually cares about someone other than himself

11 The reason I bring this up to you is because I was the worst

12 offender of all

13 My life was simply going nowhere

14 Then a tiny little man rushed to my side

15 He should've gotten a big thank you

16 Instead he got a Porta-Potti ride

17 I was such a s***head

18 But he never quit on me

19 'Til I told him he was useless

20 And his sister was freaky

21 Once when we were watching Sunday football

22 A fuzzy screen was all that we could see

23 Whitey came over with a hanger

24 And spent the game atop our T.V.

25 And when the lightning struck him

26 He let out a wicked, loud yell

27 But we just turned up the volume

28 And ignored the burning smell

29 We should all rot in hell

30 I went to high school with Whitey

31 As a joke I told him to meet me at the prom

32 When he got there, I said: "I can't believe you though I was

33 serious."

34 So he ran home crying and slow-danced with his Mom

35 What a crushing blow to Whitey

36 I bet you wish you could take it back

37 How could you all be so mean to Whitey?

38 Sounds to me like you are all on crack

39 Tonight Whitey was counting on this town to show that we care

40 But the first time he really needed us we weren't there

41 And on Christmas Eve and the last night of Chanukah

42 It's just not fair

43 ("um, biddy, bum" repeatedly)