Intervention Song Lyrics - Adam Sandler

1 Davey:

2 Tommy, nothing personal, but Whitey Duval should've won the Patch

3 tonight, and you people are crazy for not realizing that.

4 Tommy:

5 Why would we give Whitey Duval the Patch? So he could use it as a

6 blanket? *laughter*

7 Davey:

8 That's the reaction I thought I'd get...

9 Everyone in this room has been associated with Whitey, either through

10 basketball, or the mall, or various odd jobs he does around town for

11 free or at most a dollaaaar

12 And I'm guessing 99% of you have either laughed in Whitey's face or

13 ruthlessly made fun of his feet, or voice, or sister, or shortness when

14 he wasn't looooooking

15 But the next time you see him he'd still go out of his way to smile and

16 wave at you and ask you about your mother's operation or something

17 like that, because he, unlike us, actually cares about someone other

18 than himseeeellf

19 The reason I bring this uuuup to you, is because IIIII was the worst

20 offender..... of all

21 My life was simply going no where,

22 Then a tiny little man rushed to my side,

23 He should've gotten a big "thankyou",

24 Instead he got a port-a-potty ride

25 I was such a shithead,

26 But he never quit on me,

27 'Til I told him he was useless,

28 And his sister was freaky

29 Some guy:

30 Once when we were watching Sunday Football,

31 A fuzzy screen was all that we could see,

32 Whitey came over with a hanger,

33 And spent the game on top of a TV

34 And when the lightning struck him, (Aaiii!)

35 He let out a wicked-loud yell (Eeeeee)

36 But we just turned up the volume,

37 And ignored the burning smell,

38 We should all rot in hell!

39 Old Lady:

40 I went to highschool with Whitey,

41 As a joke I told him to meet me at the prom,

42 When he got there I said "I can't believe you thought I was serious,"

43 So he ran home crying and slow-danced with his mom

44 Davey:

45 What a crushing blow to Whitey,

46 I bet you wish you could take it back,

47 Chinese guy:

48 How could all be so mean to Whitey?

49 Sound to me like you are all on crack!

50 Jennifer:

51 Tonight Whitey was counting on this town,

52 To show him that we care,

53 But the first time he really needed us,

54 We weren't there-----

55 (Benjamin: And on Christmas Eve and the last night of Chanukah)

56 Davey: It's just not faaair

57 Police officer:

58 Bum bitty bitty bitty bum bum,

59 Bum bitty bitty bitty bum

60 (x2) (Second time Chinese guy joins in)

61 Davey: I wonder if that guy ever wiped his ass with the wrong haaand

62 Tommy: Yes ..........

63 Everyone:

64 Bum bitty bitty bitty bum bum,

65 Bum bitty bitty bitty bum

66 (repeat to end)