Sex or Weight Lifting Lyrics - Adam Sandler

1 (Adam Sandler):

2 Hey how ya doin'? My name's Barry Lakin and I'm here with the man on the street

3 quiz. This weeks's show is a doozy man, it really is. I went around the country

4 with my tape recorder and I taped different people having sex. I would just sit

5 outside their bedroom windows without anybody knowin' and I would press record

6 and these people would wail away on each other man they would really go at it

7 and I captured it on tape. Also I went around the country and I taped people in

8 weight rooms workin' out man. I would just sit there with my tape recorder,

9 press record, and these people would have themselves a workout man and I got

10 that on tape. Now I'm gonna play these tapes for people on the street and see

11 if they know the difference between people working out and people havin' sex.

12 Sir, what's your name?

13 (Man):

14 Hi, how ya doin'? My name's Gregory Miner.

15 (Adam Sandler):

16 Oh terrific. My name's Barry Lakin.

17 (Man):

18 Uh huh

19 (Adam Sandler):

20 And let me tell you what I did man. I went around the country and taped people

21 having sex

22 (Man):

23 Uh huh

24 (Adam Sandler):

25 I also taped people workin' out in a weight room man. I'm gonna play one of the

26 two tapes for you right now

27 (Man):

28 Ok

29 (Adam Sandler):

30 You dig? You tell me which of the two they're doin' okay? Workin' out or havin'

31 sex?

32 (Man):

33 Yeah I got ya

34 (Adam Sandler):

35 Alright I'm pressing the play button...Now.

36 {Moans and screams}

37 female: You bad [inaudible]

38 male: Oh god, I'm fucking the shit out of you!

39 female: Yes, oh, screw me harder!

40 male: Oh my god, oh, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum

41 female: Oh yes, yes

42 male: Tell me where you want it! Tell me!

43 female: [inaudible] down my throat!

44 male: Oh my god, I'm cumming!

45 female: [moaning]

46 (Adam Sandler):

47 What do you think?

48 (Man):

49 Well that's people having sex.

50 (Adam Sandler):

51 No they were doing a Military Press

52 (Man):

53 But..but they...

54 (Adam Sandler):

55 No you're wrong. Thank you very much for stopping by. Amazing what people will

56 hear. When the human ear wants to hear sex, it hears sex. Hmm. Let's move on to

57 someone else. Sir, what's your name?

58 (Man):

59 Uh hi my name is Ron.

60 (Adam Sandler):

61 Ron, what's your last name, quick.

62 (Man):

63 Ron Johnson.

64 (Adam Sandler):

65 Alright, that's good enough. My name's Barry Lakin.

66 (Man):

67 Nice to meet you Barry.

68 (Adam Sandler):

69 Terrific. What I'm gonna do now is play a tape for you. And you tell me if

70 these people are havin' sex..

71 (Man):

72 Yeah?

73 (Adam Sandler):

74 See how he says yeah? Or working out in a fitness center.

75 (Man):

76 Uh huh

77 (Adam Sandler):

78 I'm pressing play...Now.

79 {Moans and screams}

80 male: Oh, oh

81 male: We're two guys fucking...

82 male: Oh fuck it.

83 male: We're two guys fucking!

84 male: Oh yeah... yeah!

85 male: Ram it harder, harder.

86 male: Yeah!

87 male: Slap my ass. Slap it! Ow god. Oh shit, fuck it!

88 (Adam Sandler):

89 And what do you think?

90 (Man):

91 Uh, that was two gay men having sex.

92 (Adam Sandler):

93 No those were two men doing Butterfly Curls.

94 (Man):

95 Sounded like two gay guys having sex.

96 (Adam Sandler):

97 Well no sir, you are dead wrong.

98 (Man):

99 Alright.

100 (Adam Sandler):

101 Thanks for stopping by. Wow, interesting. Two men, on tape, working out,

102 building their pectorial muscles. And this man hears gay sex. Which leads me to

103 the conclusion that this man is either gay himself or not straight. Moving

104 along. And older gentleman. How are ya sir, what's your name?

105 (Man):

106 Uh Larry Bartowski

107 (Adam Sandler):

108 And Larry, how old are you?

109 (Man):

110 I am 62.

111 (Adam Sandler):

112 My name's Barry Lakin.

113 (Man):

114 Nice to meet you Barry.

115 (Adam Sandler):

116 Terrific. Larry, I'm gonna play a tape for ya. Now you have to tell me if these

117 two people are having sex or working out. Are you ready sir?

118 (Man):

119 I think I'll be able to do this.

120 (Adam Sandler):

121 Alright sir. Here we go. And play.

122 {Moans and screams}

123 female: Ah, spank it baby, spank it, spank it

124 male: Who's the man, baby who's the man?

125 female: We are not working out! We are definitely fuckin!

126 male: Aw, shh! I don't want my mama to hear, shh... Aww baby!

127 female: ... There are no stairmasters or treadmills in this room!

128 male: There ain't no dumbbells in here, there just my balls baby...

129 female: Oh, spank me baby, spank me

130 (Adam Sandler):

131 Okay sir. What was that? Sex or weight lifting?

132 (Man):

133 That was definitely two people having sex.

134 (Adam Sandler):

135 No they were doing Leg Squats.

136 (Man):

137 You're kidding me? They were not having sex?

138 (Adam Sandler):

139 No sir, you are way off base.

140 (Man):

141 I don't believe it.

142 (Adam Sandler):

143 Alright I'll play it back for you again sir. And if you get it right this time,

144 you will...be the only one who did. Okay so...play.

145 {Moans and screams}

146 (Adam Sandler):

147 Okay, here's your second chance. What do you think?

148 (Man):

149 Those people were definitely having sex.

150 (Adam Sandler):

151 No wrong again, sir. Thanks for playing the game.

152 (Man):

153 You're kidding me. They, they...

154 (Adam Sandler):

155 Alright sir, I'm moving on, I appreciate it.

156 (Man):

157 They were having sex.

158 (Adam Sandler):

159 Alright that's in your head. Bye bye. Well we learned a lot about men today.

160 Let's move on to women. How are you?

161 (Woman):

162 Okay.

163 (Adam Sandler):

164 My name's Barry Lakin.

165 (Woman):

166 Hi.

167 (Adam Sandler):

168 Hi. What's your name?

169 (Women):

170 Uh Jessica Sanders.

171 (Adam Sandler):

172 Okay Jessica. What I'm gonna do right now is record something, not play, but

173 record.

174 (Woman):

175 Oh okay.

176 (Adam Sandler):

177 I'm gonna ask you to close your eyes now. And I'm gonna record something. Then

178 I'm gonna play it back to you. And you're gonna have to tell me if these to

179 people are having sex or working out in a gym.

180 (Woman):

181 Okay.

182 (Adam Sandler):

183 Okay, close your eyes. I'm hitting record now. Pay no attention to what's going

184 on.

185 (Woman):

186 You're unzipping my pants.

187 (Adam Sandler):

188 Yeah that's right. Keep your eyes closed I'm recording something.

189 (Woman):

190 Oh that feels good.

191 (Adam Sandler):

192 Mm-hmm, yeah it feels good here too. Alright. Okay, I'm gonna slow down or I'm

193 in trouble. Ahh too late I'm gonna blow it here we go

194 (Woman):

195 uh! shoot it all over me!

196 (Adam Sandler):

197 Alright. Okay let me hit stop. And let me rewind that one. Alright now I'm

198 gonna play it back for you. Are these people having sex or are they in a weight

199 room. Here we go.

200 {Playback}

201 (Adam Sandler):

202 Now what do you think?

203 (Woman):

204 That was you having sex with me.

205 (Adam Sandler):

206 That's right and thanks for stoppin' by. Okay. Well, until next time this is

207 Barry Lakin sayin all the world is schlach.