The Buffoon And The Valedictorian Lyrics - Adam Sandler

1 Performed by Adam Sandler and Jennifer Lien

2 "And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian."

3 Valedictorian: "I really appreciate you're asking me out. Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement."

4 Buffoon: "This movie sucks shit!"

5 Valedictorian: "Well, Ebel gave it thumbs up, but Ciscel thought it was too preachy. Anyway, I enjoyed the director's last film immensly."

6 Buffoon: "Cathleen Turner has big fuckin' tits!"

7 Valedictorian: "Yes, well, she recently had a child. I think her maternal biology may play a role in that. She looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesn't she?"

8 Buffoon: "I put a firecracker in a bullfrog's mouth and blew his fuckin' head off."

9 Valedictorian: "Well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon for male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part of their maturing process."

10 Buffoon: "That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head."

11 Valedictorian: "Well, I guess she's strong for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it."

12 (Buffoon eating popcorn)

13 Buffoon: "This popcorn's fuckin' terrible. It tastes like someone jizzed all over it."

14 (Buffoon continues to eat popcorn)

15 Valedictorian: "Well the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing. Perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome by the monotony of their work and decided to play a childish prank."

16 Buffoon: "I looked at my asshole in the mirror today. It blew my fuckin' mind!"

17 Valedictorian: "It's ironic that parts of one's body seems odd and unusual because you don't see them on a day to day basis.

18 Buffoon: "My father's shit stinks up the bathroom all fuckin' day!"

19 Valedictorian: "It's puzzling why one person's fecal odor can be more overpowering than another's. I wonder whether it is a function of the food digested or that person's internal metabolism."

20 Buffoon: "I'm gonna go get head from that fuckin' girl."

21 (Gets out of the car)

22 Valedictorian: "Well, I'm sorry to see the date come to such an abrubt conclusion."

23 (Buffoon walking away)

24 "I do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward to a future rondevue."

25 Buffoon: "I like to piss in that guy's fuckin' gas tank!"

26 Valedictorian: "Bye bye! Have fun."

27 (Buffoon continues to walk away)