The Mule Session Lyrics - Adam Sandler

1 My girlfriend left me for a seven foot Indian

2 My grandma hung herself on a tree in the Caribbean

3 My sister's on the dope and my brother always picks his nose

4 And Daddy's only happy when he's wearing Mama's pantyhose, yeah

5 I just lost my job to a God damn robot (Good times!)

6 Then my dog got in the freeze box, he ate everything I got

7 But I've got my mule

8 He's a very, very nice mule

9 He walks with me home from school

10 Cause he's a very, very nice mule

11 When he was a baby my mother fed him gruel

12 But now he prefers to dine on his own stool

13 He always philosophizes with the rabbis after shul

14 Cause he's a very, very pious mule

15 When he sees a picture of a carrot he has a tendency to druel

16 On Halloween he tries to scare me by dressing up as a ghoul

17 He once challenged someone who stole my hat to a duel

18 Cause he's a very, very Old school mule

19 A needle-nosed plier is his favorite tool

20 He lifeguards on a volunteer basis and the Rec. Center pool

21 When I break down on the side of the road he shows up with unleaded fuel

22 He's a devoted fan of Ms. Paula Abdul

23 And also approves of the recent makeover of former folkie Jewel

24 (Coughing)

25 When I told him Halle Berry's husband cheated he just shook his head and said to himself 'what a fool'

26 Cause he's a very, very monogamous mule

27 (Snoring) Porkchop! Wake up, man, the session's not over

28 After several well-publicized arrests for public urination he now drinks exclusively O'Doul

29 And every year he puts on a presentation at the Boys Club to show kids smoking isn't cool

30 His favorite Elvis song is 'Don't Be Cruel', no it's 'Hound Dog'

31 I was just kidding you