The Laughing Gnome Lyrics - David Bowie

1 I was walking down the high street,

2 When I heard footsteps behind me.

3 And there was a little old man (''Hello!'')

4 In scarlet and gray, chuckling away

5 Well he trotted back to my house

6 And he sat beside the telly (''Ahh!'')

7 With his tiny hands on his tummy

8 Chuckling away, laughing all day

9 "I ought to report you to the Gnome Office."

10 ''"Gnome Office? Ahahahah!"''

11 Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee

12 I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me

13 Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee

14 I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me,

15 Said the laughing gnome

16 Well I gave him roasted toadstools,

17 And a glass of dandelion wine. (''*burp* Pardon...'')

18 Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne.

19 Carried his bag, and gave him a fag.

20 ''"Have you got a light, boy?"''

21 "Here, where do you come from?"

22 ''"Gnome-man's land, heehee!"''

23 "Oh, really?"

24 In the morning, when I woke up,

25 He was sitting on the edge of my bed,

26 With his brother, whose name was Fred.

27 He'd brought him along to sing me a song.

28 "Alright, let's hear it... 'ere, what's that clicking noise?"

29 ''"That's Fred, he's a metro-gnome, haha!"''

30 Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee

31 I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me

32 Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee

33 I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me

34 ''"Oh now, I'm a gnome, anyway, haha!"''

35 "Haven't you got a home to go to?"

36 ''"No, we are gnome-ads, hehe!"''

37 "Didn't they teach you to get your hair cut at school? You look like a rolling gnome."

38 ''"Nah, not at the London school of Eco-gnome-ics."''

39 Now they're staying up me chimney,

40 And we're living on caviar and honey (''Hurray!'')

41 Cause they're earning me lots of money

42 Writing comedy prose for radio shows

43 "It's the, errrr... it's the gnome-service, yes, of course!"

44 Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee

45 I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me

46 Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee

47 (Oh, dear me...)

48 I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me

49 (''One more time!'')

50 Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee

51 I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me