White Dude Lyrics - Lil Dicky

1 [Hook]

2 And y'ain't even want it wit da boy

3 Cuz the way I'm livin life, is a muthafuckin joy

4 On some grown man B.I

5 I could have been a girl

6 Or any ethnicity up in the world

7 But I'm rollin with the top back

8 I ain't gotta worry where the cops at

9 I ain't gotta wear a fucking bra strap

10 Me and the crew

11 Are really doing everything that we like to

12 Man it's a damn good day to be a white dude

13 [Verse 1]

14 Shit, i'm living good up in this bitch

15 Dicky rollin round the city, blowin good up in that wip

16 I ain't black or Dominican, not Hispanic or Indian

17 So imprisonment is not a predicament, I envision

18 For a white boy

19 Holla at ya muthafuckin kike, boy

20 Higher than a muthafuckin kite, it's aight boy

21 They ain't suspicious of Jews

22 I'll show contrition it's cool

23 Slap on my wrist, get ma daddy to choose

24 One of them top lawyers dat be rollin round in his crew

25 I'm eating chop soy and bowlin on a carnival cruise

26 That's what I do, kid

27 Happy that my name ain't stupid

28 Dave coulda been Daquan with a few kids

29 But now I'm farting, overeating at meals

30 If ain't I gotta theme party, Ion't be at goodwill

31 I'm dentist paying, tennis playing, smellin on some cabernet

32 And I ain't gay but if I was, everything would be okay, look...

33 I know I'm being condescending in my rhymes

34 But ma premium channels mean Tyler Perry's never live

35 Getting tickets, they sick, I sit at the Eagle 45

36 Where I'm eating when I'm high's where they eat at to survive (food chains)

37 [Hook]

38 [Verse 2]

39 Yeah! It's little DI in this bitch ho

40 Happy that I'm white, but relieved I ain't a chick yo

41 I never wake up and have to cake on my makeup

42 Or straighten hair, I ain't given a damn

43 I'm wearing whatever I wanna in this muthafucka

44 They up in heels

45 And tummy tuckin, they don't grub except for takin' them pills, for real...

46 And ion't bleach shit

47 I ain't gotta eat dick

48 I ain't bleeding up out ma penis

49 Smoking the weed, ion't fall asleep because I'm cheefing

50 In disagreements, I participate without weeping

51 And when I'm freaking, I'm getting daps, high fives, and all that

52 Ma rep goin up, and at best, ho a slut

53 So what up

54 Ya boy cut up

55 But eat butter

56 And I ain't gotta speak to my mother...to still love her

57 And I been getting better looking with age

58 But a guy can get who he deserves with a horrible face

59 *Seal interlude*

60 I mean, y'all seen Seal, right?

61 That dude's scarred the fuck up and dating, like, models and shit

62 And I bet, like, Adele's got to date somebody who works at, like, AT&T

63 I go on dates and never have to worry bout getting raped

64 And I watch a game and never have to worry bout how it's played

65 And I meet a babe and never have to act deliriously fake

66 And if impregnate I can pack a bag and be on my way

67 but good luck, girl!

68 [Hook]

69 [Outro]

70 Yeah!

71 I'm happy as fuck man

72 First off I'm a dude so

73 There was a one-in-two chance of that sucking

74 But now I can run a seven minute mile

75 I can defend myself adequately

76 I can be logical

77 I can get along with my room-mates

78 Watch serious movies without being scared by them

79 And then on top of that I'm white

80 Which is like, amazing because

81 Everybody naturally assumes I'm a great person

82 I get a fair shot at the life that I deserve

83 I mean I could underachieve my way into any college in the country

84 I get my hair cut at a salon

85 People always hold the door open for me, which is nice

86 Er, I never have to get into a fight, like, for social purposes

87 And please don't take this as me just disparaging black people

88 It ain't about that

89 It's about me being happy that I'm white, you know what I'm saying?

90 But on that note, could someone explain to me why Fat Joe, and any other person of Hispanic descent, is allowed to say the N-word?

91 I mean I guess it's unrelated but like that shit don't make any sense

92 I've been thinking about that shit a lot

93 Because I mean if I could say the N-word, it would really help my rhyme scheme out

94 It's like the perfect filler word